My wife and I have had a busy summer, visiting some of our children and new born grandkids. During our travels I came across the subject of this blog; a terrible disease, afflicting countless millions. I hope I can count on you to support my new foundation – the BCF. The Boneless Chicken Foundation
I discovered this dreaded disease, while visiting several restaurants during our trip. Every menu had boneless chicken on it. I want you to join me in imagining the tragic life of these genetically needy, brave birds– Born with no bones!!!
Visualize the little chicks, helplessly lying in the coop, not able to even raise their heads; watching the other birds scampering about, pecking at seeds, while they lay, powerless; a tear rolling down the side of their face. No bones!!!
What Can You Do?
Currently, I’ve assembled a think tank, a group of the greatest minds in our country, to determine the best course of action to help our fowl friends. Here are some of our thoughts-
1. Tiny motorized wheel chairs, perhaps with special little baskets fitted under them for catching eggs. After all, even Boneless Chickens want to feel productive.
2. Exoskeletons may be the way to go. What a wonderful world it would be with a whole fleet of robo-chickens marching about.
3. Specially trained BCF helper dogs. Can’t you just see our brave little friends strapped to the back of a purebred German Shepherds.
Also, We’re looking for a Poster Chicken. So if, in your travels, you come across a Boneless Chicken lying on the side of the road, don’t mock him. Don’t run him over. Call me!
I’ve contacted some Animal Rights groups, pleading my cause. For some reason, they hang up on me. One individual scoffed, before slamming down the receiver. I suspect this is a result of influence from the powerful Fried Chicken lobby in Washington.
In closing, may I once again plead for you to help out! Imagine this– A young bird, sprawled against the ground, not able to lift a wing to defend himself when Colonel Sanders’ men come along.
Doesn’t it just break your heart to think of them lying there, watching helplessly as the other chickens cross the road. Moving their tiny beaks. One weak, agonizing word clucks out– “Why?”
For those who’ve read my blog in the past, and are waiting for some important Christian message. . .sorry. Nothing here. It’s summer. Just wanted to do something fun.