Hah!! I’ve scoured the earth, searched every matchbook cover, touting, “Five Easy Lessons to Become a Writer”, and have come up with a couple sure fire ways.
Here’s Technique #1. The Is There a Doctor in the House Method.
Have you ever been in a crowded restaurant when someone keels over in their tomato soup. A voice hollers, “Is there a doctor in the house?” An MD rushes forward, saves the man (AND THE TOMATO SOUP), and is an instant hero.
This will work for writers, too.
Of course you’ll need a couple helpers (Confederates); friends not worried about potential lawsuits or making fools of themselves.
Here’s an example of how it would work.
Let’s pretend you have a new book- “Beekeeping Techniques of the Ancient Mesopotamians“. A best seller ready to happen!
Everyone is in place at the restaurant. Your tingling with anticipation. Hold on, my friend! Don’t rush forward too soon. You don’t want to jump up before heads plop into soup. That would look silly.
At the designated signal, one of your confederates splashes into his soup. Please note- Tomato is not needed. In a pinch clam chowder will work.
But it must be New England style, not that awful Manhattan stuff.
Your other confederate races to his side. “What seems to be the trouble?”
The collapsed man answers, “O woe is me. My beehives are dying. What will I do?” He falls backwards, fading fast.
Your confederate scans the crowd. “Is there a beekeeper in the house?”
People gaze around. All seems lost, until you leap to your feet. “Wait! I’m an author! I’ve written a book on ancient Mesopotamian beekeeping techniques!”
You rush to the man’s side and talk him through his beekeeping dilemma. Hurrah! You save the day! You’re a hero.
Now if you could repeat this in about five to six hundred restaurants, you’ll become a world famous author.
If you’d like to meet people who may or may not have used this technique, join us on November 1st at the Meet & Greet Local Christian Authors, being held in Nashua, NH. For more info, go to
http://www.EventBrite.com and enter “Meet & Greet Local Christian Authors” in the SEARCH box. If you prefer to speak with a real person, call Clarice James 603-578-1860 or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Who knows . . . Perhaps we’ll have a live demonstration of this method. You bring the soup.
Next time, we’ll talk about The Papparazzi Principle.