How to Become a World Famous Author. Part One

IMG_0699What’s the quickest way to become a world famous author? Here’s the old fashioned advice- “Write and rewrite”, “Work hard”, etc.

Hah!! I’ve scoured the earth, searched every matchbook cover, touting, “Five Easy Lessons to Become a Writer”, and have come up with a couple sure fire ways.

 

Here’s Technique #1. The Is There a Doctor in the House Method.
Have you ever been in a crowded restaurant when someone keels over in their tomato soup. A voice hollers, “Is there a doctor in the house?” An MD rushes forward, saves the man (AND THE TOMATO SOUP), and is an instant hero.
This will work for writers, too.
Of course you’ll need a couple helpers (Confederates); friends not worried about potential lawsuits or making fools of themselves.
Here’s an example of how it would work.
Let’s pretend you have a new book- “Beekeeping Techniques of the Ancient Mesopotamians“. A best seller ready to happen!
Everyone is in place at the restaurant. Your tingling with anticipation. Hold on, my friend! Don’t rush forward too soon. You don’t want to jump up before heads plop into soup. That would look silly.
At the designated signal, one of your confederates splashes into his soup. Please note- Tomato is not needed. In a pinch clam chowder will work.

But it must be New England style, not that awful Manhattan stuff.

Your other confederate races to his side. “What seems to be the trouble?”
The collapsed man answers, “O woe is me. My beehives are dying. What will I do?” He falls backwards, fading fast.
Your confederate scans the crowd. “Is there a beekeeper in the house?”
People gaze around. All seems lost, until you leap to your feet. “Wait! I’m an author! I’ve written a book on ancient Mesopotamian beekeeping techniques!”
You rush to the man’s side and talk him through his beekeeping dilemma. Hurrah! You save the day! You’re a hero.

Now if you could repeat this in about five to six hundred restaurants, you’ll become a world famous author.

If you’d like to meet people who may or may not have used this technique, join us on November 1st at the Meet & Greet Local Christian Authors, being held in Nashua, NH. For more info, go to
http://www.EventBrite.com and enter “Meet & Greet Local Christian Authors” in the SEARCH box. If you prefer to speak with a real person, call Clarice James 603-578-1860 or email her at meetgreetchristianauthors@gmail.com.
Who knows . . . Perhaps we’ll have a live demonstration of this method. You bring the soup.

Next time, we’ll talk about The Papparazzi Principle.

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Do People Ask You This?

Photo 125What Must I do to be Saved?
Has anyone ever asked you that? A better question might be, WOULD anyone ever ask you that?
In Acts 16:16-30, Paul’s jailer asked him this question.
But why? Did Paul grab him by the shirt and shout, “Ask me! Ask me! Ask me!” Was he wearing a button- “Official Eastern Distributor of Salvation. Ask me about it!” I don’t think so.
The jailer saw something in Paul that prompted his inquiry; something the world needs to see in Christians today.

He saw-
A Joy Shining Above Current Circumstances.   Why was Paul imprisoned? He didn’t steal or kill or start a riot. No. He and Silas were tossed in prison for doing what God told them to do; PREACH THE GOSPEL.

Many Christians would moan and groan if this happened to them. “Oh woe is me! God, why did you allow this?” Not Paul and Silas. After being stripped, beaten, and tossed in with the rats, about midnight, the two began to sing praises to God! Wow!

Can you imagine the look on the jailer’s face. “What? Are these men daft? Don’t they know they may be facing death?”

Remember, your reactions in difficult times shows the world who or what you put your faith in. Do those around you see your joy in the midst of troubles?

Secondly, Paul’s Put Others First    He and Silas weren’t thrown in a regular jail cell. NO! The jailer was warned that if they escaped, the punishment due them would fall on him. So he threw them in the inner jail. He chained them to make sure they wouldn’t escape.

Suddenly, there was an earthquake. The chains fell off. The jailer figured everyone’s escaped. So what did he do? He drew his sword and was about to kill himself. But Paul called out, “Don’t do it! We’re all here!”
The jailer grabbed a light, looked in and was amazed. His response . . . He fell at Paul’s feet and asked, “What must I do to be saved?” Paul had the chance to escape, but was willing to put the jailer’s well being above his own.
Do others see a sacrificial love in you?

I might mention a third point. Paul Preached the Gospel. The jailer must have known this. But it’s my belief that Paul’s witness was as much (if not more) in his actions than in his words.

Are others seeing God in you? Until they see the difference He’s made in your life, why would they seek your advice on Spiritual issues?
Ask yourself, when was the last time someone asked you, What must I do to be saved?

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Five Incredible Reasons to Attend the Meet and Greet

MnGIt’s coming! It’s coming! In less than a month, the Meet and Greet Local Christian Authors event will take place; Saturday, November 1st, from 3:00 to 5:30 pm at Bonhoeffer’s Café & Espresso, 8 Franklin Street, Nashua, NH.

It’s a celebration of eight author’s works. What? You want to know why you should attend? Here are 5 good reasons.
1. It’s a Cheap Date.     Free entry. How much cheaper can you get? Do you want to look good to your wife, girlfriend, or the chihuahua that rides around in your purse? The event’s being held in a beautiful location, AND there are free refreshments. On top of that, downtown Nashua has some nice restaurants. After you’re done with the meet and greet, complete your time out with a good meal.

2. Meet Some Awesome Writers.     These authors have done their work. Maybe you have questions about writing a book. They’re the ones to talk to. OR Maybe you’re a fan of one of the authors and want to come rave. OR  Maybe you didn’t like the book and want to argue. If the latter’s the case, and you’re looking for me, I’m the short guy with the foreign accent.

3. Support a Christian Activity    It’s wonderful for Christians to get together. It’s great to meet members of other churches. What? Other churches exist out there? Come and see. On top of this, some of the books support worthwhile causes. My book deals with abortion, therefore a portion of the sale goes to pro-life organizations.

4. Win a Kindle Paperwhite. What? Did you hear right? A Kindle? Yes. Several prizes will be given out during the afternoon. The grand one being a Kindle Paperwhite! Is this blatant bribery to get you to come out? I don’t know . . . Is it working? Bribery or incentive. It’s a good deal!

5. Christmas Shopping. November 1st is not too early to be thinking about this. Here’s a unique gift idea. A Christian book. And guess what? Many of the author’s books will be at discounted prices. On top of that, you can get them autographed. You will impress the people on your Christmas list.

I’m sure I could come up with 56,721 reasons to attend the Meet and Greet. But who wants to read through all of those? Not me. If you’re interested in attending, here’s where you can get further info.
Go to http://www.EventBrite.com and enter “Meet & Greet Local Christian Authors” in the SEARCH box. Scroll down to see the whole poster. If you prefer to speak with someone, call Clarice James 603-578-1860 or email her at meetgreetchristianauthors@gmail.com.

May I say, I truly appreciate those of my friends who are coming out to help celebrate the release of my book. Your enthusiasm and support over the last few months has been humbling. For those who are considering coming, please register; Simply to make sure we have enough goodies.
I look forward to seeing my friends on November 1st, and to making new friends!

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An Interview with Clarice James

CJ_TrustMugOn November 1st, I’ll be taking part in a Meet & Greet Local Christian Authors event, being held at Bonhoeffer’s Café & Espresso, 8 Franklin Street, Nashua, NH. This would not be possible without the tireless work of a good friend of mine- Clarice James. I met Clarice at a Writer’s Critique Group that she was running.

Though working behind the scenes, I thought we could shine a little spotlight on her through this interview. 

Jeremiah: Tell us a little about yourself.

Clarice: I’m a Christian, wife, mother, and grandmother. I’m also a writer, editor, and  encourager. Here’s a snapshot of me, quirks and all-

1. I love clever words and pretty colors.

2. When the soundtrack of a TV program gets scary, I cover my ears and close my eyes,  then make an excuse to leave the room. Obviously, I don’t write suspense.

3. I’d rather be home with my husband than anywhere else.

4. Unlike the psalmist in Psalm 45, “My tongue is [NOT] the pen of a skillful writer.” My  mouth is too busy talking to wait for my brain to pick out the right word. After all, I’ve  got a sentence to compl-inish.

5. I’ve always struggled with losing weight and keeping it off, maybe because I think the  best part of going to a gym is leaving.

6. Unless you can show me where God said it in the Bible, don’t try to convince me of what you think.

7. When I play Scrabble with my husband, we don’t keep score; we’re just happy we can  both splel.

8. Having guests over is my motivation and reward for housecleaning.

9. I love time alone with my grandchildren so we can play make-believe without their  grown-up parents butting in.

10. I wish all the wacky Christians would stay away from those I’m praying for. You’re not  helping.

Jeremiah: What do you write?

Clarice: I write contemporary women’s fiction. My agent, Joyce Hart of Hartline Literary  Agency, is currently shopping two of my manuscripts.

Party of One: “Risking her privacy, widow Annie McGee founds Party of One, a communal  table for single diners, where she meets an electric mix of colorful characters who cause her to  confront her fears, question her beliefs, and doubt her self-assurance.”  Party of One was chosen  one of five finalists in the 2011 Christian Writers Guild Operation First Novel Contest.

Double Header: “Casey Gallagher, a rising Boston sports columnist, fears losing the unblemished  memories of her father when she learns she has a brother no one knew existed. In her search to  identify this walking insult to his memory, she learns that God’s playbook is less about her well- ordered plans and more about His.”    I’m presently having fun writing my third novel.

Jeremiah: Tell us about the Meet and Greet Local Christian Authors event.  MnG

Clarice: First, it’s FREE! You’ll have a chance to meet eight Christian authors from the Northern  MA and Southern NH region. There’ll be refreshments, author signings, discount pricing, and  door prizes—including a Kindle Paperwhite! It’s Saturday, November 1, 2014, 3:00 to 5:30 pm  at Bonhoeffer’s Café & Espresso, 8 Franklin Street, Nashua, NH. All adults and teens are  welcome!

Jeremiah: How did you come up with the Meet and Greet idea?

Clarice: Years back, I worked in both marketing and event planning and enjoyed it. Throw in my  love of writing and writers, and I have a fun thing to do while I wait to be published. (Actually, I  haven’t told the authors, but they’re my guinea pigs.)

Jeremiah: What do you hope to accomplish through this event?

Clarice: The theme is celebration. I hope the eight featured authors and all those who attend will,  together, take this time to celebrate all their God-given gifts and talents.

Jeremiah: How can people find out more about the Meet and Greet?

Clarice: Go to http://www.EventBrite.com and enter “Meet & Greet Local Christian Authors” in  the SEARCH box. Scroll down to see the whole poster. If they prefer to speak with someone,  they can call me Clarice James 603-578-1860 or email me at  meetgreetchristianauthors@gmail.com.

Jeremiah: What’s in the future for the Meet & Greet Local Christian Authors events?

Clarice: If this first Meet & Greet Local Christian Authors event goes well, we plan to hold  another one in the spring, 2015. All published authors interested in being featured can contact  Clarice James 603-578-1860 or Cindy Saab 978-821-65447 or email  meetgreetchristianauthors@gmail.com for more information.

 

If you’d like to meet Clarice, or any of the other people involved in this wonderful event, come on by on November 1st. IT’S FREE! A CHANCE TO WIN A KINDLE PAPERWHITE, and to support Christian authors. Well worth your time.

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Appreciate Your Pastor!

October is Pastor Appreciation Month? What’s your response to that? Do you say, “Oh really?” “I didn’t know that.” Sad news is, I’ve shared this with some people who give a scoffing laugh as if Pastors don’t need appreciation. “What? We pay them a salary for working one day a week. Why do they need us to appreciate them?”
I’d like to say, What a bunch of Satanic Cow Manure! Your pastor does need your appreciation.
Let me give you a few reasons.
1. Most Pastors are extra hard on themselves.       78.23 % of churches in America are in decline? OK. I made that up. BUT THERE ARE ALOT OF FAILING CHURCHES. For every one of them there’s a pastor who blames himself, or struggles to keep it going. Guess what? It’s not always the pastor’s fault.

Isn’t it interesting that we blame our leaders for our failures. Plain truth is, some churches have ceased doing God’s work. The Spirit has departed.
2. Being a Pastor is a Lonely Job       You may not think it, but it’s true. Surrounded by people, yet alone. He understands he is different from the members of his congregation. Not better. Not holier. But different. I know young pastors who pishaw at this. “We’re going to live with our people; be just like them.” Trust me. They’ll learn. Pastor’s children are held to a higher standard. His wife also. I remember my second church. Upon arriving I was informed that my wife would play the piano and lead the choir. HA!

You can miss the board meeting if you’ve decided to go bowling, or if the finale to America’s Got Talent is on TV. Do you allow that same luxury to your pastor?
3. Pastor’s Lives are a Roller Coaster of Emotion     They’re there when you have your celebrations. But they see the tragic side of life, too. They’re in hospitals, holding the hands of the ones in sick beds. They visit those who are terminally ill. They’re on call for whoever needs them.

Hey, I’m not crying in my guacamole. I probably stated my case pretty poorly. I just wanted to share some facts. October is Pastor Appreciation Month. Do something nice for yours.
If you say, he’s not worth appreciating, then get a new one or go to a different church. Plain and simple.
To all my pastor friends- God bless you! Whether your church realizes it or not, you’re worth appreciating! You’re on the front lines in a Spiritual War. May He grant you the strength and courage to keep going. Don’t grow weary in doing well!

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A Message to Haters and Fat-o-Phobes

211815-Royalty-Free-RF-Clipart-Illustration-Of-A-3d-Blanco-Man-Knocking-Down-HurdlesIt happened again. I was called a hater simply because I said marriage and a homosexual union are not the same thing. You’d have thought I declared war on all gays, saying they should be thrown into prison or enslaved.
I stated my opinion – Marriage is between a man and a woman. Anything different…IS DIFFERENT.
Hey, let’s not get bogged down on that. I’m facing another struggle.
Most of you don’t know this . . . I have OLYMPIC ASPIRATIONS! Yes! I want to run the Hurdles. TADAH! I’ve been practicing.
I’m quite a sight to behold, in my red, white, and blue Spandex.
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I finally built up the courage to make a phone call to the American Olympic Committee. Here’s how the conversation went-
“I want to be in the Olympics.”
“What’s your event?” the man asked me.
“Hurdles.”
“How long have you been doing them?”
“I just started.”
There was a long pause. “And you think you’re good enough for the olympics?”
“Yes sir.” My voice was brimming with confidence.
We discussed times and distances. He seemed impressed.
“You have to understand,” I continued, “I do the hurdles differently. I don’t jump over them. I run around them.”
“Pardon?” Here’s where this man’s prejudice and hatred began showing.
“I trot around each hurdle before moving on to the next one.”
There was silence. So much so, that I began to wonder if the man had actually dropped dead. Finally, he spoke. “Bob, is that you? Are you guys down in the mail room pulling my leg again?”
My mouth fell open. How dare he think I was joking. “Sir, why would I be pulling your leg?”
The man cleared his throat. “Have you ever tried jumping over the hurdles?”
“Why in the world would I do that?”
“Because . . .that’s how you do it. . .”
The hair on the back of my neck stood on edge. I glanced down at my oversized stomach. “I’m a tad weight challenged. Hopping over those hurdles isn’t an option. Maybe with a step stool . . . Besides, who are you to tell me what to do?”
“Er…I’m the head of the Olympic Committee.”
“And that gives you the right to tell me how I should run the hurdles?”
He gave such a deep sigh, I swear I felt a breeze come though the phone. “Sir. I have to go now. Thank you for your interest.”
My neck throbbed. My face reddened. “You, my good man, are a hater!”
“Pardon?”
“You hate people of large sizes. You, sir, are a Fat-o-Phobe!”
“I assure you, I am not.”
“Well that’s better.” I took a breath and calmed myself. “So when are the olympic tryouts?”
Another sigh. “I hate to see you waste your time.”
“See,” I snapped. “You used the word, hate! Hater! Hater! Hater!”
“Goodbye, sir.”
“No, really. When are the tryouts? I’m quite good at what I do. I love hurdling….”
“Uh-huh . . . But what you do isn’t hurdling.”
“Then what is it?”
He hesitated. “You run around them. . . I don’t know what to call that.” His hate, fear, and bigotry poured out in his every word. Daring to doubt my calling, denying me my olympic moment.
He said thank you, and hung up the phone. Probably heading off with his Fat-O-Phobe friends to have a good laugh at my expense.
So now I call on you, my friends! Join my protest! Attend Track and Field events around the country, and run around the hurdles for fat people! Let that be your battle cry!
RUN AROUND FOR FAT PEOPLE!  
Show America that we’re no different than they are. What we do is the same thing! We simply do it differently. Help stamp out hurdle bigotry! Down with the Fat-o-Phobes. Down with backward thinking haters!
My message should be clear enough- To call someone a hater or a homophobe simply because they disagree with you on the issue of marriage is as moronic as calling someone a Fat-o-Phobe for not letting them “Run Around the Hurdles”.

If you can’t see this truth, or the fact that disagreement does not equal hate or fear, GET OVER IT!
Frankly, when it comes to marriage, what you say or what I say or what the federal government says doesn’t amount to a hill of beans. What’s important is-

What does God say? He’s the One Who created marriage.
This is a replay of a two year old post. Hey. Give me a break. It’s summer. Besides, the message needed to be heard again, by certain individuals. Have you had the experience of being called a hater? Leave a comment. Tell me about it.

 

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Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

I need your help.
Am I my brother’s keeper? Cain asked God this, while hiding his dead brother’s body.
Today, this question comes home to roost. Look at America’s southern border. Look at the people at the entrances to Mall parking lots, seeking a hand out.
Am I my brother’s keeper?
Jesus answered a similar question, “Who is my neighbor?”
By allowing illegal aliens to cross our borders, are Americans helping the poor? I don’t want to get into the politics of that issue. It’s just, we Christians- Is that all we’re required to do? What about the Gospel? Which is more important, a full stomach or salvation?
On top of this, do all those people truly need our help? Being a pastor, I’ve seen scores of phoney-baloneys at my front door, with their hands out. What do I do?
And I believe the church has become jaded, cynical on this issue. Recently, I asked a group of Christians a question- What percent of the “beggars” outside of Malls are con men?
Without hesitation someone answered, “98%”
Then someone else chimed in, “99%”.
Wow!
What about you? Do you roll down the window and hand over some cash?
I don’t know. Maybe we’re using our suspicion of other’s intents as an excuse to cling to our money.
So I’m asking, being our brother’s keeper, how far do we go? Can I give to a stranger, or am I just being conned?
Talk to me. I’d love to hear you’re opinion.

Luke 10:25-37
And behold, a certain lawyer stood up and tested Him, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”
He said to him, “What is written in the law? What is your reading of it?”
So he answered and said, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself.’”
And He said to him, “You have answered rightly; do this and you will live.”
But he, wanting to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”
Then Jesus answered and said: “A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, who stripped him of his clothing, wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a certain priest came down that road. And when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. Likewise a Levite, when he arrived at the place, came and looked, and passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion. So he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. On the next day, when he departed, he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said to him, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I come again, I will repay you.’ So which of these three do you think was neighbor to him who fell among the thieves?”
And he said, “He who showed mercy on him.”
Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”

 

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The Care and Feeding of A Squirrel. . .NOT!!!

Photo on 2014-07-15 at 14.16I want to destroy a squirrel. You heard me. Destruction to the bushy tailed varmint!

Why such open hatred? A gang of them are ruining my life, pushing me off the deep end, sending me to the looney bin! Let me ask you, have you ever seen a gang of squirrels? Yes, I said gang, like in a street gang, seeking to destroy civilization and graffiti the world with their evil intent. . .  I have.

One day, I was stepping out of my car, and heard this odd noise. A gang of squirrels were swaggering by, arranged in a V formation. Not scurrying, but swaggering, their claws clacking against the ground. The leader, who looked like he should have been wearing a leather jacket and playing a part in West Side Story, gave me a What-do-you-think-you’re-looking-at? kind of glare.

Fearing I’d find the squirrel equivalent of a horses head in my bed, I kept my distance. 

But now, they’ve gone too far. They’re holding my bird feeders hostage. Don’t tell me how to squirrel-proof them. I’ve tried! It won’t work. They’re smart. They’re devious.

The breaking point. . . My humming bird feeder. It doesn’t even have bird seed in in. It’s sugar water. We hang it way up high so the gang can’t get to it. The other morning, the leader was perched on the rail of my deck. He was up on his back legs. One tiny paw was tipping the feeder so the water was shooting out of the opening, like a water bubbler (Water fountain for those of you who don’t understand New Englandese). The fool rat had his mouth open and was filling himself with my sugar water. That’s all I needed, a squirrel hyped up on sugar. PETA will probably be after me for contributing to squirrel diabetes or something.

The crowning touch. He brought his cousin, the chipmunk, who was hanging upside down on my bird feeder gorging himself on sunflower seeds. The squirrel turned his head and gave me the look- What-do-you-think-you’re-looking-at?

That’s it! I burst out onto the deck. The varmints scurried off into my yard, leaving two empty feeders, a pile of seeds on the ground below. From about fifty feet away they look back and, I swear, . . . they laugh at me.

I point a shaking finger. “You’re dead. More than that, I want to torture you. Destroy you!!!!!!”

. . .My neighbors think I’m crazy.

So please, my friends. If anyone knows an inhumane way to treat a squirrel, I’d love to hear it. They’re making me lose my mind! I lay awake at night, hatching evil plans!  Help me!

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Have it God’s Way!

cartoon-burger-pictures-13706-hd-wallpapersBurger King went off the deep end. They came out with a gay pride whopper. The wrapper of the Pride whopper said- “We are all the same inside.” I kid you not. Watch the You-tube commercial, which shows the un-informed and brain dead uttering things like, “It’s about time.” and “I feel so loved.”

Isn’t that just ducky. Let’s all hold hands and dance around the campfire, singing “We are the world!”

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I thought it was an odd message for a burger joint that declares, “Have it your way.” Whoppers are NOT the same on the inside. Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, etc. Every burger is supposedly unique. But, I understand what they’re trying to do; jump on the gay pride band wagon, try to bring in the cash.

And, you know what? Technically they’re right. We’re all the same on the inside, made up of blood and guts (a fantastic medical description of human beings.)

But, let’s look at the truth. Let’s put God in the picture.

Yes, we are all the same on the inside. We’re all sinners. Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. . .”

But the choices we make about our sinning brings an inner difference.

The Christian chooses to trust Jesus for forgiveness, thereby becoming a new Creation.  2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”

The non-Christian seeks something else. They do it their way. Maybe doing good deeds to gain God’s favor. Maybe ignoring their sinfulness. Maybe shaking a fist at Heaven an saying, “Leave me alone!”

So, we are NO LONGER the same on the inside. One person still lives in their sin. The other has found forgiveness.

Another place where the burger message is wrong is this. The next step for the Christian (After salvation) is obedience to God. A Christian believes the Bible is God’s written word, which tells us how we should live AND how we should not live. There is no, “I have my rights.” There is no,”I know best.”

Does this mean a Christian is perfect because they follow God’s book? Hahahahahahahaha. Sorry. That was a funny one. Man oh man, I am farrrrrrr from perfect. I sin. I don’t always follow the book. I make mistakes. I mess up. Sometimes I do it unknowingly. Sometimes, like a spoiled child, I want my own way. But, when I come to my senses, I turn to a God who forgives me.

Some people live their lives, fighting for freedom from God’s rule, demanding they know what is best.

Burger King. You had it right/You had it wrong. Stay in the burger business and stop trying to make political statements.

We are all the same on the inside. . .Sinners, but it’s what we do about our sin that makes the difference.

The question each person must ask- Do you want to have it your way, or God’s way?

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Lessons I’ve Learned

image Wow! My book’s showing up everywhere! A MESSAGE TO DELIVER published June 3rd- One month ago. Here are some things I’ve learned since then. These aren’t mind shattering lessons. As a matter of fact, most of my author friends will read this and say, “Yuh? No Duh!”

HAVE A PLAN
How am I going to promote this book? What’s my marketing plan? In May, I went to the Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writer’s Conference to hone my craft. In a marketing class the instructor shared these very helpful facts- What to do one year before you publish your book. . . What to do 8 months before you publish . . .5 months . . .3 months . . .     You get the picture. I raised my hand. “What do I do two weeks before publishing?”
Oh boy. My plan was to write a book, sell 5,000,000,000,000 copies, and buy an island off the coast of Maine. Not a good plan. Though I may be a little behind schedule, it’s never too late to plan, never too late to learn. Have a marketing plan, my friend.

HAVE ANSWERS
Wow! I’ve run into several people who’ve actually read my book. They all have questions. How long did it take you to write this? Where did you come up with the idea? Can I borrow ten bucks? Hey. I know I’m far far far from famous. But to some people, I’m a step up in the book publishing biz. I have to have answers, and sound like I know what I’m talking about.

HAVE SOME PRIDE
My wife and I went into a local pro-life organization to give them a free copy of my book, and to talk about an upcoming launch party where I’ll be distributing pro-life literature. A portion of my profits goes to these groups.

The woman in charge approached me. “Is there something I can do for you?”

I stood like a junior high kid, who’s struggling to ask the prettiest girl in the school on a date. “Gee, golly…I …er…”
Thankfully, my wife pushed me forward. “Yes. There is something he’d like to talk to you about,” she said.
Don’t get me wrong. I think my book is good. It’s getting good reviews. But its so . . .weird, promoting yourself. I guess my best advice for me and others- GET OVER IT! If you spent hours and hours creating something, take some pride in it.

Well, that’s it. Just sharing some of the many things I’ve learned. Again, thanks to those who’ve gone on Amazon and purchased A MESSAGE TO DELIVER. If you haven’t done so, I invite you to go for it! And please remember to review it on Amazon. That is sooooo important. Thanks again.

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